Name: Robin L. Sauerwein
Minneapolis, MN
married; two kids
occupation: writer
By Robin Sauerwein
Oh my God, could I really do this all over again? A realization that hit me at, "an odd and a little too late for that!" kind of thought.
In September, I gave birth to my second son, Dylan. My first son, Ryan was born 12 long years ago.
Just a week ago, I joked with a co-worker about my son Ryan’s grades and the challenges I faced as he entered adolescence.
"Just think," I said. "I get to do this stuff all over again."
We both laughed.
On the way home, I thought more about it. What did that really mean? Then I remembered everything. I remembered cooking a meal at 6 p.m. after working a full day of work. I remembered the time I sat down to read to Ryan after dinner. I remembered the back aches as I struggled to do the dishes alone at 9:30 p.m. I remember how tired I was when I finally hit the pillow for sleep. I remembered how my (now ex) husband always seemed to have a tougher, more exhausting day than me and how easily he could afford to relax on the couch while I moved around the house in the role of cook, parent and housekeeper.
Could I really deal with all this again 12 years later? I thought as I walked in the front door of my house after a full day of work.
My 2nd husband of 3 years stood in the living room. He was cradling our 6 month old son, Dylan in one arm. A spit-up cloth rested on his shoulder. I recognized the look of both complete exhaustion and relief on his face. I could smell a meatloaf in the oven.
"If I ever hear a man complain about how his wife stays home all day with the kids and does nothing all day, I may have to slug him," He said. (Of course that was not his exact words!) I didn’t think to ask about what he had been doing all day. It was written all across his face. I knew better. A new millennium, a new baby, a new and very different husband and a 12 year-old son who was always eager to baby-sit.
I realized at that moment that things were definitely going to be different. I wouldn’t be the only one exhausted this time around.
I guess I did know what I was doing after all.
