The Order of Things, by Mia Bolte
Every year in my spiritual community we commemorate Children’s Day during the winter solstice. All the children are invited to celebrate and be celebrated. This year the "king," a community member and parent of three teens, made closing comments while addressing the entire group. In the midst of his short remarks he made a suggestion: "Children, be kind to your parents." The adults giggled a little bit while one inquiring boy’s hand shot up. In an inquisitive tone he asked, "Why should we be kind to our parents?" The room quieted. There was a pause before King Tom replied, "There is an order of things, and I will tell you what it is. First, be kind to yourself. Then, be kind to your parents which will be practice for being kind to everybody else."
This is perhaps unusual advice for some to hear. Certainly it wasn’t familiar to me as a child. And doesn’t it make great sense? If I take good care of myself and consider my own needs, I am going to be much more available to offer the same to you. It’s like filling my own gas tank so that I can be certain to have enough energy to get to my passenger’s required and requested destinations in addition to my own. Or, if there’s something in my cookie jar, I have treats to offer. You get the idea.
Imagine what you hope for a friend. Now extend the same courtesy to yourself. Draw a bath (consider bubbles, salts or something that smells wonderful), stretch your body, read a book, listen to your favorite music, dance, stop to listen to the church bells.
I find when I pay attention to being kind to myself; I am more open to my own artistic expression. The space that I feel from taking some "me" time leaves me feeling more energized and available to possibilities. I feel a greater inspiration to create. Sometimes, my self-kindnesses show up in my creative process. Recently, when I put my oil pastels to paper, I noticed a rhythm of lines on my page that was reminiscent of the jazz music I’d been snapping along to earlier in the day. You don’t need to be making things to notice your creativity soar. The benefits will show up in the way you see yourself and relate to others.
Since most of us never learned the importance of, or skills to be kind to ourselves as well as others, until recently, we have some catching up to do. Experiment with what "the order of things means for you". It could be delicious smelling dish soap for your kitchen, a stem of flowers or your favorite walk at sunset. Get creative with the ways of kindness. However you do it, go ahead, take good care of yourself. Today. Now. Above all, enjoy it!
If you live in the Twin Cities you may want to check out Mia's work as a body/mind, Buddhist inspired psychotherapist. She works with individuals, couples and groups to help them discover who they want to be and really are! You may reach her at: 612/701-2027 or miabolte@hotmail.com
Mia's method of body/centered, buddhist inspired cousneling and pyschotherapy helps clients:
— Make mindful life choices.
— Reduce and manage stress.
— Discover more options, especially related to relationships, transition and
strong emotions.
— Explore issues that are important to them: health, spirituality,
creativity, work, etc&Mac183;
— Feel a greater sense of their own answers and self empowerment.
— Heal past and present emotional pain.
— Manage and address depression and anxiety.
— Increase self esteem.
— Resolve trauma.
— Grow, learn and evolve.
results of the work:
enhance your life
have more options
make more mindful choices
heal your pain
uncover your wisdom
free your spirit
unleash your creativity
discover your inner authority
grow
blossom
